Heather, please do us all a favor and *beg* any rock star you see not to give us free music. This is, apparently, the worst thing that some people have ever experienced and I don't want to be a party to letting it happen again.
And we are off. The event is starting with a flashback to last month's iPhone 6 launch, with audio of people clapping and hooting over video of Apple Stores opening the doors to customers.
People are posing proudly with their new iPhones like they are their babies. Video is over and TIm Cook is out. Today's button down is black, but it has subtle checks in gray. He's mixing it up!
Tim is recapping the customer response to the new iPhone 6, saying "this is our biggest iPhone launch ever." I'd have to check, but I think they (correctly) say about ever iPhone launch.
Now he is talking about Apple Pay. "We think that it is going to be profound." They have signed on another 500 banks to support Apple Pay since the last event.
Apple Pay is beginning on Monday. "It's going to change the way we pay for things."
Cook is practicing his stand-
up today! Cracking a joke about positive feedback on the Apple Watch from people who know more about fashion than even he does.
Apple has developed a WatchKit SDK so third-party developers can start making their own apps for the device. The watch is shipping in early 2015.
Apple SVP of software Craig Federighi is on stage to talk about iOS 8.
After a brag about how many iPhone and iPad users have upgraded to iOS 8, he gets in a slide showing how fragmented Android's OS install base is. That is a burn.
iOS 8 is already on 48% of iOS devices.
He showed off a Klingon keyboard that really does exist in the App Store. Buy' ngop!
After more recapping of iOS 8, he's ready to discuss the next update. iOS 8.1. They are addressing the "top sources of customer feedback."
For example, they are bringing back the Camera Roll (hooray!).
On to the OS X Yosemite, which has been in beta.
iOS 8.1 will also have a new feature, iCloud Photo Library. The beta feature will sync your photos across all devices, which might not sound like such a great idea after recent security issues. Apple did recently add two-factor ID for iCloud. Don't forget to turn it on for extra security.
Safari is more efficient in Yosemite, less of a battery hog. Mail and iTunes were updated for Yosemite. iWork is sporting a new design, has updates to Numbers and Keynote.
More OS X updates. You can AirPlay to your Apple TV even without being on a WiFi network. You can send and receive SMS on any device, including computers. You can receive regular phone calls on your Mac, using your speaker.
A sample email from Cook to Craig says "It's time to take secrecy at Apple to the next level..."
Apple has really upped the humor for today's presentation, which helps fill in the time as we wait for the real juicy news.
Now a demo to show the "continuity" that lets features work between the Mac, iPad and iPhone.
He's looking at a fake presentation on Apple secrecy, working on it across multiple devices. The new chief of secrecy is Stephen Colbert. Let's call him!
Yes, Craig really did just call Stephen Colbert from a Mac to demo that new feature. They are speaking in secret code to make sure the line is secure. "I have some feedback on the content of your presentation today... " says Colbert. He wants a better fake title, suggests, "Supreme Allied Commander of Super Secrecy" and "Intergalactic Chancellor."
Colbert reveals that Tim Cook's code name is Chairman Honeycrisp, then says "Get back to work... You know what I see when I look at my wrist? My wrist."
Craig is demonstrating how he can use an Apple Watch to flip through a Keynote presentation. It's a wee remote. Adorable.
OS X Yosemite is available for download today and is free. iOS 8.1 support for Apple Pay etc is available for download on Monday.
The new updated iWork is also available today
Tim Cook is back to talk about how wonderful the iPad is. "While it has been beautifully simple on the outside since the first one" it's been increasingly jam packed with high-end tech and power.
Cook says that 225 million iPads have been sold.
Now he's comparing the top PC manufacturers sales numbers to the iPad. iPad beats them all.
There have been 675,000 apps custom designed for the iPad.
Cook says the iPad is number one in customer satisfaction and it's number one in usage, in education, in enterprise, in consumer. How do you make it better, he asks. By making it even thinner than a pencil, which was its previous size.
The iPad Air 2, now with 18% more air. "Look how thin it is, can you even see it?"
Phil Schiller is going to tel us more about this skinny device. It is 6.1mm thin. The world's thinnest tablet. Was there a big demand for a thinner tablet?
In response to some questions -- OS X Yosemite is expected to be available as a free download from the Mac App Store later today.
It has an anti-reflective coating to reduce reflections by 56%, which is handy for looking at Pinterest on a park bench.
Thanks, Heather. I just sang the phrase, "Pinning on a park bench," doing my best Jethro Tull impersonation. Only five people will get that reference, but I'm at peace with that.